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Latest comment: 8 months ago3 comments2 people in discussion
@JohnAdams1800 Hello! Could you be more specific about which part of the page feels like it's written as a resume? I've heavily contributed to this page over the past few months, so I'd like to fix any of the issues that might be on it. Thanks! Y2hyaXM (talk) 23:46, 24 March 2024 (UTC)Reply
The article is well-written--it appears to comply with NPOV and has sufficient citations, but in my opinion it contains excessive details on Wes Moore's life before he was a businessman and politician. Anyone can remove the banner, but I feel the page contains details that I feel aren't relevant to Wes Moore's notability as a politician, businessman, author & media personality, and veteran.
For example, the third paragraph contains (underlined) details that read like a resume of Wes Moore's college experiences, including
"In 1998, Moore graduated Phi Theta Kappa from Valley Forge with an associate degree, completed the requirements for the United States Army's early commissioning program, and was appointed a second lieutenant of Military Intelligence in the Army Reserve. He then attended Johns Hopkins University, where he studied international relations and economics and graduated Phi Beta Kappa and Omicron Delta Kappa in 2001. At Hopkins, Moore played wide receiver for the Johns Hopkins Blue Jays football team for two seasons. He was initiated into the Sigma Sigma Chapter of the Alpha Phi Alpha fraternity at Johns Hopkins in 2000. In 1998 and 1999, Moore interned for Baltimore Mayor Kurt Schmoke. He later became involved with the March of Dimes before serving in the Army. He also interned at the United States Department of Homeland Security under Secretary Tom Ridge. After graduating, he attended Wolfson College, Oxford as a Rhodes Scholar, where he earned a master's degree in international relations in 2004 and submitted a thesis titled Rise and Ramifications of Radical Islam in the Western Hemisphere. He was activated in the Army following the September 11 attacks, and deployed to Afghanistan from 2005 to 2006, attaining the rank of captain while serving in the 82nd Airborne Division. He left the Army in 2014."
His personal life paragraph also contains details I feel don't contribute much value to the article or on Wes Moore's notability
"In February 2023, Moore adopted a dog named Tucker, a shih-poo, from a local animal shelter.
The Moores moved out of their Riverside home by late 2008, purchasing a home for $1.2 million in the Guilford community in north Baltimore, which sold for $2.5 million in July 2023, and keeping their Riverside home as a rental before selling it in February 2021."JohnAdams1800 (talk) 00:18, 25 March 2024 (UTC)Reply
Thanks for the feedback! I've made some adjustments to the underlined sentences that should hopefully address these issues Y2hyaXM (talk) 00:59, 25 March 2024 (UTC)Reply
Latest comment: 4 months ago1 comment1 person in discussion
In his list of army medals, there is no mention of his rifle/pistol qualification status. That should be part of his decorations. Does anyone know? 72.134.156.110 (talk) 18:56, 2 August 2024 (UTC)Reply
Latest comment: 10 days ago4 comments2 people in discussion
The following discussion is closed. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made in a new section.A summary of the conclusions reached follows.
I've finished writing the new page (interested editors can see what I've written here) and I plan on bringing it to the mainspace by next week if there's no further objections/discussion. When this page is brought to the mainspace, I will be removing the Political positions section from this page. Y2hyaXM (talk) 18:25, 17 November 2024 (UTC)Reply
The discussion above is closed. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page. No further edits should be made to this discussion.
